I chose six cell packs, each composed of four fuchsia celosias. The perky young girl working at the garden centre suggested I pick up four more cell packs as multiples of ten were cheaper. Well, I can’t resist a bargain so I told her I’d pay for ten now and then go back to select the other four. When I went to pick out the new flowers, I noticed one of the cell packs had a pink flower mixed in with the fuchsia ones. So, I did what any gardener with OCD would do: I rearranged the flowers. Immediately, a middle-aged woman practically jumped over the counter, and pointed at me with her finger quivering. She yelled, “I could get you kicked out of here for what you just did!!”
I was too stunned at her rage to be embarrassed. Initially, anyways. I pointed to my fuchsia coloured flowers and told her I wanted all fuchsia like my other ones. To match.
“You can’t just take out the flowers you don’t want! And it’s really bad when people mix up the peppers!!”
Horrors! Well, celosias look like pretty flowers, not at all like peppers, but far be it from me to point the difference out to her. She again told me I’d be barred from the store. I couldn’t help myself. I said,” Maybe someone else already switched around these plants and put the pink in with the fuchsia. That’s why they’re like that.”
And, I gently placed my pretty flowers down on my little cart, like a good shepherd tending to his flock. And pulled my cart away. I had already paid for them; they were mine, all mine!
My next errand was at a small market. The market’s parking lot was full so I parked in the nearby Tim Horton’s parking lot. Right beneath a sign stating parking was for Tim Horton’s customers only. Threatening all other cars would be towed away. I’ve never done that before. But, my gateway crime had been committed. It was all downhill for me now. I figured I’d buy an ice capp, with a mix of coffee and chocolate milk, if questioned. I deserved it.